Look, we like a human penis as much as the next person (who likes a human penis). But if you're craving something a little/a lot different, you can always take on something not-at-all realistic: Monster Dong's The Zombie!

Up top, this undead penetrator rises from the grave with a deep-reaching fingers and tons of texture. You can bump and grind it all the way to the wide, butt-safe bottom (that has actual graves on it!), or go with just the tip. Either way (and others, too), you can play hands-free thanks to the powerful suction cup base.

The flexible, squeezable liquid silicone The Zombie is body-safe, extra easy to clean and care for, and good to go with any water-based lube you love.